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On Self-Forgiveness
It’s not about what you should forgive yourself for or how to forgive yourself: it’s about who do you need to be so that forgiveness is possible.
I had the honour of coaching a client today who wanted me to support them in forgiving themself.
In the session, they spent a lot of time talking about how it was important that while they should forgive themself, they should not let themself off lightly and that they should still “do the time” so that they hold themself accountable.
“I don’t know how to move towards forgiving myself. I also don’t know what part of what happened should be forgiven.”
This is what I told them:
“Here’s the thing- it’s not about the ‘what’, it’s also not about the ‘how’- it’s the ‘who’: you’re having a hard time forgiving yourself because your ‘who’ is not about forgiveness but accountability. And because you are all about accountability, unfettered compassionate and boundless forgiveness is not possible.”
“So now I ask you: for you to be able to forgive yourself- who do you need to be or become?
Watch the video here:
